heartbreakz of mhine

why does it hurts when you fall in love?

does it really matter?
all along many people don't know what the real  score of it,,
they just  go on with there life and remain neglecting the things that the most important to know..

I'm Jane, a 17 years old still longing the real meaning  of love. still hoping that somehow there is a possibility to fill the unknown feelings inside of  my heart.. i know that is a  pathetic way to  search some kind that i really don't know.

nagmahal ako ng makailang ulit pero nauuwi parin lahat sa pagkabigo.. all along, ang hinahanap kulang naman ay yong tunay na magmamahal sakin..

until such time came,

i running out of time to pass  all my paper works para sa report namin, di sinasadyang nagkabangga kame ng lalaking yon.. inis na inis  ako sa kanya at that time gusto ko syang kutusin dahil di manlang humingi ng sorry at saka  parang walang pakialam sa nakabangga nya.. hmp.."akala mo naman kung  sinong gwapo." nasabi kunalang sa sarili ko sa sobrang pangigigil..
"sabagay, may ibubuga naman talaga ang buhong yon eh kaya umaastang kung sino."paghihimutok ko.. pero first impression never end last impression right? ganun talaga ang nangyari sakin.. di ko akalaing magbabago ang pagtingin ko  sa kanya.. by the way the name was clint eljohn.we meet again, sa gitna ng kasayahan habang nag eenjoy ako with my friends ay biglang my bumangga sa tagiliran ko, and then i met those eyes that showing the emptiness and boredom, di ko alam kung pano nangyari ang lahat, basta ang alam ko lang ay  sobrang lapit na nang mukha namin sa isat isa.. hayy..!!! ang sarap ng feeling. nasabi kunalang sa sarili ko na sana ganito nalang kame  habang buhay.. OMG!! nahuhulog na ba ako sa charm nya?? imposibly..pareho kaming natigilan.. aahhmm!! guys, are you still with us? a-a-ahh yap!! im sorry miss di ko sinasadya.. i mean are you  okey?.. nag aalalang sabi ng lalake. hah? o-oo, im okey. sorry talaga miss, by the way im clint eljohn.. and you are? pakilala pa nya saken.. at that time di ko talaga alam kung pano ang mag react kasi feeling ko nahulog talaga ang puso ko pagkakita ko ulit sa mukha nya eh. haayy.. siguro nga noon pa ako nagkagusto sa kanya di ko lang maamin sa sarili ko. jane, his talking  to you. are you really ok? tanong pa ng friend ko.. natutulala kana. aahhmm, pasinsya na. im ok promise. aahh, im jane. pakilala ko sa lalake. at doon nag umpisa ang pag bloom ng lovelife ko.hehe. lumipas ang panahon na nagkakalapit kaming dalawa, di ko talaga enexpect na magiging close kame, as in  close talaga.. para na nga kaming lintang ayaw humiwalay sa  sobrang  close.. to cut the story short, doon na nag umpisa ang love story namin..nanligaw siya saken at sinagot ko naman siya.. naging kame na hanggang isang araw..

dumating ang tag ulan samin dalawa.. nawala ang apoy na binuhay namin makalipas ang ilang buwang pagiging magkasintahan.one day  while were walking  down the street, we used to talk anything else about our life, the ambiance was  so romantic to the two of us but just like what I've said along ago we would be suffer the pain that cause of being unreasonable person. clint has a fiancee name micah.. i was in so much pain at that time. all along pala niloko nya lang ako, pinaasa na magiging kaming dalawa till the end.. hay..

ang buhay nga naman ng tao, napakahirap eexpalain kasi hanggang ngayon nararamdaman ko parin ang sakit na dulot ng pagkabigo sa taong pinakamamahal ko.. but  i have to move on, to let go and face the  present life. ika nga nila, may isang tao na nakalaan para sayo, all i have to do is to wait until the time came.

Ako`y napaluha ng ika`y nakita,

Tanong aking sarili, ano ba? sino ka?

Sino ka sa buhay ko?

At napadugo mo ang aking puso





Buong buhay ko`y inilaan ko sayo

Pero heto ako, humahagulgol at bigong bigo

Umiiyak sa daigdig ng ulan at lamig

Kusang umuwi kasama ang wasak na pagibig





Siya?

Bakit siya ang pinili mo?

Kung nandito naman ako

Pagmamahal ko sayo`y walang katapat

Dahil ang pagibig ko sayo ay sapat na sapat

Siya?

Pagibig niya` y parang tsitsirya

Na kulang sa sapat na sustansiya





Kahit ako`y iyong nasaktan

Sa puso` t isip ko ikaw pa rin ang laman

Ang luha` t dugo kong umaagos ay sayo lamang

At ang panalangin ko` y sana` y tayo na lang.............................................................

FAVORITES SONGS..

A songs that can help to ease the pain inside, it help us to fully recover what we had last time.It is the topics were you can find your own piece and your own choice to the songs. Actually, I have a lot of favorite songs. First is, "Only Reminds Me Of You" by Jed Madela. This song was really means to me because it sang in deeply, in tenderness and in passion. It's actually a song to remember that will first come up to your heart because it's wa so attempted. This song reminds me of someone who doen't care at all. The second is, "Maybe" by Kings. It is a song that will loosen your heart, a bt to shy to say those words to your love ones, and of course it is a song that will give you alot of strong, spirit and knowledge to go on with your life. The third one is, "Heaven" by Jed Madela. This is the song who bring me to the fulliest. This song was really great, I remember while it played, I can't help it but cry. When it played, I always remember the pain, the fear and the agony that keeps so many years inside in my heart. I felt so hopeless when I hear that song. The fourth is, "How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood. This song is nothing compare to the others because it is only simplify that you don't wan't him to go. It means that you have to do something just to asure that he or she won't leave. It's just a pathetic song because it's like that you begging him or her to stay. But beliefs sometimes could change for some reason. This song was realy a matter to me. it is special because it dedicated to someone whom I used ro love, but he leave me with misery and miserable. I still remember the pain that he cause, but I have to let go and to go on with my life.